i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
