32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
