you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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