Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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