she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
