When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sorry my hands just texted you
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
