And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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