Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
