that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
