butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
