my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
