The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
