I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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