I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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