It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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