Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
