she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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