Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
