so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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