Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
