Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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