Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
