I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
