I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
