oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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