Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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