Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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