Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
