weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
