Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize