We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
