Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
