how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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