No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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