umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
