omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
