I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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