How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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