were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
