There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
