I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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