i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
