i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
