I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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