Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
