So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have fence marks all over my body
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
