god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
