just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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