I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it glows. i had to have it.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
