He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
