But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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