On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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