Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
