If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
